Chiming In: Don’t Stop the Party – Pitbull

This is what you get when you have six people write a song

You don’t get money, woof, woof

 

Don’t Stop the Party  peaked at #17 Top 100 Billboard Hot 100. Why I cannot fathom. The beat is some drum machines and a few electric piano chords put together and sped it. The lyrics, are . . . atrocious, often rhyming the same words or making no plain sense at all. The music video also makes no sense at all. So let’s dive in.

If you’re confused by the counters, go here.

We start off with this.

I am satan

I am satan

Girl #1 looks like she’s going to throw up, Girl #2 seems to be scowling, Girl #3 seems to be looking at a large spider, Girl #4 looks as if she’s about to fall asleep, and of course, Pitbull looks both like a modern day interpretation of Satan and an asshole at the same time. Also, we get our first (if unnoticeable) product placement of Voli. Also, this is really boring. I don’t know why Pitbull thinks that this is interesting, but it’s not. A red bed with some half-naked girls and a guy sitting in front of it feels strange. And it’s nothing new, either.

Saving Face: 1

Product Placement: 1

Next, we see Pitbull on a boat at 0:06.

Pitbull Facepalm

Pitbull Facepalm

Saving Face: 2

Yes, that actually happens in the video. It’s at the 0:06 mark, if you’re interested. We get a couple shots of butts (0:13), more product placement at 0:14 (double for the girl on the bed and the bottle on the nighstand) and 0:15 and then we’re at the party! For some reason there are a few girls on all fours. (0:30). I get this is a music video about partying, but why are there just girls in bathing suits and a giant white ball. Maybe it’s some more of Pitbull’s deep symbolism.

WTF again

WTF again

Product Placement: 4

Butts: 2

Yes, 15 seconds in and we’ve already got two bottles of Voli.

And we’re dancing! (0:35)

Only a Little Uncomfortable

Only a little uncomfortable

Saving Face: 3 (0:35)

And now we’re dancing alone with some girl in a red dress. The woman in this shot seems to be just a little irked by having to be around this man, and Pitbull seems to not really care. Not the effect I think they were going for. Then black and white party. (0:36) Then someone coming in the door. (0:39). More red dancing. More people coming in the door (0:42). Black and white party (0:42). Green party (0:46) and butts.

Butts: 3

More red dancing. Dancing alone. More people coming in the door. Black and white party. Voli product placement, we missed you!

Totally artistic

Totally artistic

Red dancing. A hookah. Black and white dancing. More fucking dancing. Then this picture at (1:00)

I am insane

I am insane

Saving Face: 4

Product Placement: 6

I mean, seriously. That’s the strangest facial expression I have ever seen. And I guess they were low on hair budget for this girl, because for some reason it’s all in her face. Either that or she has a big pimple on her forehead they couldn’t cover up with make up. Also, what is that thing underneath her neck? Also, that seems like a really weird position, even for this music video. I can’t really tell where her legs or anything are, so it kind of looks like she’s an amputee.

Gives no fucks

Gives no fucks

Saving Face: 5

This woman is awesome. In literally every shot she has this exact face, the “I know this is fucking stupid but I’m getting paid so fuck it look.” I salute her.

And . . . more green, color, and black and white dancing for another twenty seconds. And 1:24 brings us to our second butts count.

Butts: 4

Come to the dark side

Come to the dark side

Saving Face: 10

Girl #1 looks like she’s gossiping about the man in front of her, Girl #2 seems to be agreeing, and Girl #3 still doesn’t know where she is.

And . . . more dancing and unneeded scenes like this. (1:39). Yes. I get this is supposed to be about partying, but seeing a bunch of people dancing like this really isn’t anything interesting. Why not actually do something?

Nonsense

Nonsense

And . . . butts! (1:40)

Butts: 5

This is no good!

This is no good!

Saving Face: 11

And now, back to Satan. More dancing. Whoo! And butts at 2:11.

Butts: 6

And more butts at 2:16

And incontinuity! (2:20) There’s a bottle of Voli in every “bedroom” scene except for this one. I have no idea why, but it really irks me.

Hm

Butts: 7

And then a guy pours milk, or some other substance, on his face. (2:40)

Milk face

Milk face

Saving Face: 12

Is this supposed to some sort of deep metaphoric thing? I don’t understand. Why would you suddenly pour milk on your face? Maybe he was pepper sprayed.

Smexy

Smexy

Product Placement: 7

Saving Face: 13

I’m starting to think that the pimple theory was the right path of logic. (2:48)

Mammary exam

Mammary exam

Also, she thinks it’s okay to give yourself a breast cancer exam during the middle of a music video. (2:49) Aaaaand, more product placement! And in two different colors! (2:52)

Product Placement: 8

Smile

Smile

Saving Face: 14

Pitbull’s obviously smiling like a bastard at this. I don’t even want to think how much he makes by putting Voli in every one of his songs. And then this.

Who?

Who?

Who is this? I mean, the girl kind of looks like blonde girl, but who the hell is this guy? I thought she was one of Pitbull’s escorts. And now she’s with this guy? Wow. Also, this green filter is really not helping the “artistic” score for the music video.

And we finish with Pitbull helping a girl leap of a boat. (3:10)

Goodbye

Goodbye

This smile.

The Devil

The Devil

Saving Face: 15

And some more product placement. (3:16)

Here you go

Product Placement: 9

And . . . cut.

I honestly thought that you couldn’t get any worse. I mean, Pitbull’s not exactly the greatest “rapper”, but at least his other videos have some sort of theme. The aptly named “Hotel Room Service” has some strippers in a hotel room. “International Love” has some pictures of different cities. This is just some people partying with different colored filters and Pitbull on a boat/bed with some half-naked women. That’s not even barely interesting. I mean, I guess it relates to the theme, but what music video doesn’t have scenes of clubs?

I mean, the directors didn’t have much to work with, but they could have at least made something happen. It fails. The lyrics fail, the video fails, the beat fails.

Let’s dig into the real meat of the song though. Maybe the lyrics are a little better.

You don’t get them girls loose loose (TJR!)

Whoo! Shoutouts. At least it’s someone who helped write the song. I don’t know whether this is good, because it gives Pitbull more people to blame, or bad because it makes both them more incompetent as you see their lyrics.

You don’t get the world loose loose

Maybe if you told me what that meant, I would know if I indeed do or do not, “get the world loose”.

Rhyme or Reason: 1

You don’t get money woof woof (Mister Worldwide!)

Because woof definitely rhymes with “loose”.

Rhyme or Reason: 2

But I do I do

You don’t get them girls loose loose
You don’t get the world loose loose
You don’t get money woof woof
But I do I do

I say, y’all having a good time, I’ll bet

No Rhyme or Reason: 3

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Que no pare la fiesta
Don’t stop the party
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Que no pare la fiesta
Don’t stop the party

Saying “Don’t stop the party” in Spanish doesn’t change the meaning. And while you’re singing in Spanish, why not rhyme in Spanish. How about, “Aquí nadie toma siestas”: Here no one takes naps, implying that his parties are so fun no one ever gets a wink of sleep. I came up with that in about three minutes and literally the only words I know in Spanish are “fiesta” and “siesta”. And I didn’t even know what “siesta” meant.

No Rhyme or Reason: 4

I’m running through the world like I’m a running back

Okay, well at least running backs do run a lot, but I don’t see how that really adds to the song.

Scarface, world’s mine, running back

Keep in mind, that when Pitbull sings/raps this, it sounds more like “I wunna thru the worl like I’m running back, Scarface, words mind, running back.” He has absolutely no sense of annunciation. He sounds like a first grader with a speech impediment.

No Rhyme or Reason: 5

Thirty thousand people in Hanover to see me
Eighty thousand people in London, Wembley
Ninety thousand people in Morocco

Sadly, with a three million person strong country, only 0.003% of the people in Morocco like Pitbull enough to see him in concert.

And I’m just getting warmed up, papo.

Papo? I don’t know, maybe if Pitbull just stuck to one language he’d be able to make more sense.

Catch me with Red One in Stockholm,
Beirut, cafe getting my drink on,

This also pisses me off. First we’re in Stockholm, and then Lebanon, and here and there. I don’t know what this has to do with the song, and so far, the song’s been nothing more than “girls, I’m awesome, some places”. So maybe it does have to do with the song. I don’t know. I definitely doesn’t rhyme, though.

No Rhyme or Reason: 6

Voli
Where all the pretty women hit the hooka

 I would think he was talking about Lebanon here, but then again, he does show all white, blonde women in the part of his video with a hooka, so I don’t know. Also, why not just throw in product placement?

No Rhyme or Reason: 7

All of them sweet, azucar, azucar

Dale, disfruta, disfruta.

“All of them sweet, sugar, sugar, ‘dale’ enjoys”

They can’t, they won’t, they never will stop the party
They can’t, they won’t, they never will stop the party

I say, y’all having a good time, I’ll bet

I love how uncertain Pitbull is when he sings this. I don’t know if he means to be, but he leaves this huge gap between, “time” and “I’ll bet”, so it sounds like he’s really uncomfortable.

No Rhyme or Reason: 8

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Que no pare la fiesta
Don’t stop the party
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Que no pare la fiesta
Don’t stop the party

I’ll stop here at the second refrain to exposit just how much I hate the word, “yeah” in this song. First of all, it serves absolutely no purpose but to add filler. Also, it’s lazy songwriting. The word, “baby” would have been more beneficial. Or how about something that rhymes with party? Or just cut it out all together. I understand you have a quota, but maybe you could have added more than two six-line verses?

I’m from the city where they stress and they sleep real bad

Where they stress and sleep real bad? What is he, seven? And it doesn’t even rhyme with the next line. I mean, come on.

And now I’m doing shows in Helsinki (Finland)
I know what ya’ll thinking, you’re thinking,

I love how he has to remind himself Helsinki is in Finland.

No Rhyme or Reason: 9

That you can out think me, but you can’t frankly
I’m out for the benji’s, frankies, c-notes

I mean, this kind of rhymes when you listen to him “rap” frankly as “frinkly”, but then it also makes him sound like he’s talking about a wrinkled old man.

No Rhyme or Reason: 10

Just cause you ain’t me, don’t hate me
As a matter fact you should thank me

There are 915 words that rhyme with “me”.

No Rhyme or Reason: 11

Even if you don’t, you’re welcome Yankees

He’s from South America, so I don’t know why he’s calling people Yankees. Even if he’s using it as a term to refer to people north of him geographically, it’s a bit like Australians calling North Koreans “Yankees” because they’re above them.

No Rhyme or Reason: 12

Zig-a zig-a zig-a zig-a-zow
Who got the keys of the world, now, yours truly, bloaw.

Yes. Zig-a, zig-a, zig-a, zow.  Are you kidding me? This sounds like a hit from The Wiggles. I’m pretty sure it is. Also, blaow is pronounced like wow. But with a “B”. Because it’s not like there’s anything else that “zow” rhymes with.

No Rhyme or Reason: 14

Refrain

I’m a give it to ya, ah ah
Now give it to me, ah ah
I’m a give it to ya, ah ah
Now give it to me, ah ah
I’m a give it to ya, ah ah
Now give it to me, ah ah
Get funky, get funky
Now stop!

This almost beats “zig-a, zig-a, zig-a”, but not quite.

No Rhyme or Reason: 24

Refrain x 3

Yes. There were five refrains, and two verses. And then that bit at the end. Wow.

Let me remind you: six people wrote this song. I looked it up on Wikipedia.

Pitbull, TJ Rozdilsky, José García, Jorge Gomez Martinez, Warwick Lyn, and Frederick Hibbert.  I don’t even understand. How the hell could they come up with something so horrible? It sounds like half a person wrote these lyrics and the other five and a half helped with spelling and grammar.